En löydä sanoja, jolloi käsitellä tätä ilman, että syyttäisin itseäni. It doesn't even help that I write those thoughts in English. It doesn't feel like I would be writing about someone else's thoughts.
These are mine. I'm here and I'm breathing even though this feels like I'm suffocating because of things I should be doing instead or should not be thinking at all. I should not compare myself to others, I shouldn't think of you.
I'm tired. I'm tired of listening what kind of person you want me to be. Let me be alone - wait please don't, tell me how beautiful I am, but not now, 'cos it would feel like I forced you to do so.
I found a poem in instagram today, which described my feelings perfectly. The deeper thought in that poem was: "Letting you go was easy, but trying to live without you is much harder."
Because you're still there and I shouldn't care.
Jos asian tekeminen vie vähemmän kuin viisi minuuttia, tee se. Tällä ajatuksella sain tänään itseni tekemäänkin hyödyllisiä pikkujuttuja ja tuntui oikeasti hyvältä.